Children Who Go Astray

Genesis 4:1-13 And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.  And Eve again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. 

And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering. But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.  And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? 

And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper? 

And he said, What hast thou done? The voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground.

And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother’s blood from thy hand. When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

And Cain said unto the Lord, My punishment is greater than I can bear.

I think these verses in the bible are very important – especially for parents.  There is a lot we can learn from them.

First – Why did God accept Abel’s offering and not Cain’s?

Abel was humble and wanted to give the best that he had to God as a token of his obedience.  Cain was begrudging the crops that he was going to lose, and most likely gathered the poorest of his harvest to give to the Lord.  God was not being unfair or showing favoritism.  It all had to do with the intentions and the humility of each brother.

How many times do we, as parents have to judge the intentions of our children?  We know their hearts.  We know when they are trying to “work the system”, and we know when they are sincere.  When we need help discerning the truth – we only have to kneel down and ask for it.

Second – Why did God ask Cain where Abel was when He knows all?

God wanted to give Cain another chance to confess and be sorry – even though He knew Cain’s heart was too prideful to repent.  Heavenly Father does not delight in punishing us – just the opposite!  He delights in showing mercy whenever he can.  It pained him that He had to punish Cain.  Cain let his anger and pride overtake any love he may have felt for his God.  The anger grew in him until he hated God.

How many of us have heard from our children – “I hate you!”  A wise older friend of mine once told me, “If a mom doesn’t hear that phrase sometimes, they are doing something wrong!” Thankfully, I haven’t yet heard that from my kids – but many times I knew they were thinking it!   

My kids are teenagers now, and many times I have needed Heavenly Father’s help in knowing what to do and what to say.  I have had to lay down the law.  I have been more lenient when I know they are truly sorry.  When my kids are directly disobeying me, and have a bad attitude – I am likely to give out harsher punishments.

Lastly – What can we learn from Cain’s statement – “my punishment is more than I can bear”

Cain had to know that his disobedience and secret oaths with Satan were going to get him punished.  He had to know that God knew what he was doing.  I wonder if Satan was so convincing and so enticing that he believed he wouldn’t get caught.  Was he really surprised?  A punishment must be served though – or mercy would rob justice.  Justice cannot be robbed – a price must be paid for disobedience.

If a person is humble enough they can take advantage of the Savior’s Atonement and repent.  A full and sincere repentance removes the need for that person to suffer for their own sins.  If Cain had told the Lord – “I’m so sorry I listened to Satan.  Please tell me what I need to do to be forgiven and I will never do it again.”  This kind of talk would have indicated that his heart was being humbled and he could have eventually been forgiven. 

Sometimes my kids remind me of Cain.  They believe that I am unfair in my punishments or they try to lie or talk their way out of it.  I can follow Heavenly Father’s example in such situations.  I can confront my kids with the truth, give them a chance to explain and repent, and then deal out punishments when I know they are not sorry – only sorry that they got caught.

We can learn a lot from Cain – I hope we remember his mistakes so we don’t make the same ones.