Men and women were created equal, but sometimes in our marriages we don’t treat each other that way. 

Sometimes I think that I know best, and I want to get my way because I’m right!  When I get in this mindset, I am destroying me and my husband’s unity.  I have to remember that we are equal and both our voices should be heard and acknowledged.

Jesus, said to those who would be part of His Church: “Be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine” (D&C 38:27). Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to united together. That unity in marriage is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity.

In order to obtain unity in a marriage there are things we must do.

First, we must forgive and not hold grudges. Jesus set the example for us from the cross: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Second, we have to learn to love imperfect people, including ourselves. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:4–5). We must not react negatively to other’s faults and forget our own. 

Next, we need to use our similarities to understand each other, and our differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around us.   (Henry B. Eyring, That We May Be One, April 1998)

We not only need to do things that foster unity, but we need to avoid things that destroy marital unity as well. 

Some things that destroy unity in a marriage:

Criticism, contempt, bringing up past faults, stonewalling, lack of togetherness (separate lives), holding on to past “friends” of the opposite sex, lack of emotional support, and lack of understanding and forgiveness.

As we truly try to become one in our marriages, we will be able to enjoy more peace and happiness.