D&C 64:33 – “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”

In Dr. Gottman’s best-selling book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he talks about how important it is to “turn towards” our spouse.  He says, “Real life romance is fueled by a humdrum approach to staying connected.  It is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of everyday life.  Comical as it may sound, romance actually grows…when you make a choice to turn toward each other rather than away.  In a marriage people periodically make what I call “bids” for their partners attention, affection, humor, or support.  People either turn toward one another after these bids or they turn away.  Turning toward is the basis of emotional connection, romance, passion, and a good sex life.”

He says some of the best ways to stay connected is working together and being appreciative of the work the other one is doing.  We are more likely to stay connected doing dishes together, than a romantic night out, that may not happen very often.

With teenagers in our house, our lives are so busy!  My husband works two jobs, my kids have jobs, and after school activities, I go to college full time – the list goes on and on.  We don’t have time to go on romantic evenings out.  We stay connected by working together.  When he is shoveling dog poop (how romantic) – I stand beside him and talk to him.  When I am cooking dinner – he is in the kitchen with me either washing the dishes or setting the table.  When he is mowing the lawn, I am out there with him gathering the leaves.  It is the only way I can talk with him and be with him. 

It’s nice when we can go on a date, but those aren’t the times the keep us connected.

Marriages are hard to keep together when the partners don’t “turn to each other”.  Sometimes the spouses may turn to family, friends, children, old romances, social media, shopping, or hobbies.  Great marriages are made when no other priority takes precedence over your spouse.  Great love and romance is achieved just by finding joy in doing simple everyday things together.